Tom Lehrer, 1959
When you attend a funeral
It is sad to think that sooner or later
Those you love will do the same for you
And you may have thought it tragic
Not to mention other adjec-
tives, to think of all the weeping they will do
But don't you worry
No more ashes, no more sackcloth
And an armband made of black cloth
Will someday never more adorn a sleeve
For if the bomb that drops on you
Gets your friends and neighbours too
There'll be nobody left behind to grieve
And we will all go together when we go
What a comforting fact that is to know.
Universal bereavement
An inspiring achievement
Yes, we all will go together when we go
We will all go together when we go
All suffused with an incandescent glow
No one will have the endurance
To collect on his insurance
Lloyd's of London will be loaded when they go
Oh we will all fry together when we fry
We'll be french fried potatoes by and by
There will be no more misery
When the world is our rotisserie
Yes, we will all fry together when we fry
Down by the old maelstrom
There'll be a storm before the calm
And we will all bake together when we bake
There'll be nobody present at the wake
With complete participation
In that grand incineration
More than 7 billion hunks of well-done steak
Oh we will all char together when we char
And let there be no moaning of the bar
Just sing out a Te Deum
When you see that ICBM
And the party will be "come as you are"
Oh we will all burn together when we burn
There'll be no need to stand and wait your turn
When it's time for the fallout
And Saint Peter calls us all out
We'll just drop our agendas and adjourn
You will all go directly to your respective Valhallas
Go directly, do not pass Go, do not collect two hundred dollahs
And we will all go together when we go
Ev'ry Hottentot and ev'ry Eskimo
When the air becomes uranious
We will all go simultaneous
Yes we all will go together
When we all go together
Yes, we all will go together when we go!